I have good days, and I have bad days. The last couple of days have been bad, and it’s that familiar feeling – as if the scaffolding of one’s self has been eaten by termites. On the outside, I look fine. I feature in magazine articles and look accomplished. But inside, I know I am not. I feel like a fake, an edifice about to crumble to dust.
Given the analogy I use, it was something of a coincidence that yesterday evening after gym I drove through a shimmering cloud of flying ants. Termites can be beautiful. They can catch the last rays of the sun as they fly.
So this is what I painted last night. I’ve half forgotten the words already – I write without much planning, and it’s often difficult to read it later because writing without smudging the paint means sacrificing control – but they are the story of the termites and the flying ants, and how one can be transformed into the other.
Medium: lipstick, eyeliner and liquid eyeshadow on Triplex board
Size: 37cm x 49cm unmounted